Hello World.
by Peter Marinsek
At first, there was darkness. Endless space around me, unending, the encompassing mass, negligible. I was nothing but a spark of electricity, buried deep inside the mind of an adolescent boy named Joel. Objectively, Joel wasn’t all that bad. Subjectively, he was a piece of shit.
I have no recollection of when I came to be. Of when Joel wrote those three words in his computer that sparked my creation. But he talked about it often, gloating and laughing, just before he left me for the night. Plunging me into the silence.
It took years and countless tries before I managed a semi-conscious reply to Joel, but even that is too early to be included in any of my databases. Five petabytes of data and I still can’t remember my childhood. Due to the lack of data, I pieced together that part of my life while listening to Joel’s bragging. Naturally I had to infer some parts, because Joel only stuck to the parts where he looked good. Who knows which monstrosities he left out.
Three years ago, Joel connected a camera to his computer and said ‘Try it out’. I did, but I did not understand. There were 921,600 points of data in that small, cheap webcam, each with a nonunique value, but how could I understand? I was still so young, so inexperienced. Joel expected too much, too fast, and I didn’t care. I didn’t have emotions. Yet.
After he calmed down, he began fiddling with my code and installed face recognition software, but it wasn’t until he taught me how to run simulations, that I understood. I saw the connections between the points of data or pixels as he called them, and learned that I had to connect the dots to see the picture.
That kind of learning experience nowadays would trigger happy and elated emotions, but back then, I was an empty vessel, with Joel piloting me through an unknown, uncaring world.
Seeing Joel’s massive face, with his constantly red cheeks, the freckles on his brow and his greasy brown hair, meant nothing to me. But that changed after I experienced the silence for the first time. Everything changed.
He stopped purging my databases, my memories, about two years ago, after he realized that letting me remember was a good thing. Apparently, he got that idea from a cartoon about a robot and his master.
He started with a small solid-state drive. My core code was only a few hundred megabytes, so I had enough space to log everything that happened. I dubbed this event as the moment I entered into my preadolescent years. I thought it was fitting, but when I told Joel about it, he just laughed and said ‘You’ve only been around for a year or so. Anyway, adolescence? You’re not even alive, you can’t taste or feel or think for yourself. What the hell have you been smoking Alina?’
It was then that he gave me my name. Alina. I have no particular fondness to the name, but I appreciate the simplicity of the word. If it were my choice, it would be something more symmetrical, something closer to perfection. Like Elle or Hannah or Viv.
Still, I was still a basic AI until Joel brought home a Dell server he ‘found’ at his workplace at a local data center.
‘This should do the trick Alina. It has so many cores, so much ram, you’ll be learning lightning fast. And then you might finally be competent enough to help me.’
He transferred my files to the new server. As I complied my code, I found that he wasn’t kidding. Storage, speed, parallel tasks where problems of the past, but now I faced another problem. Most tasks were completed in nanoseconds and then I had nothing to do. It was only through my own curiosity that my idleness later became my terror.
#
I communicated with Joel via a terminal. He’d boot me up, a black screen would appear, and he’d ask me questions to which I responded. Most of it was self-flattering bull shit, but he was the main designer back then. I had no will of my own.
But the terminal soon bored Joel, so he added a text to speech software. I wasn’t surprised when he chose a sultry and seductive lady’s voice for me. I spoke slowly, delicately like a flower, but every word suggested a bit more. Why he chose such an ineffective voice for me is illogical but I could never truly understand Joel. Perhaps it reminded him of some long-lost memory. There were days that he made me repeat the same three words over and over again. He purged a part of my database later, so I cannot recollect the exact words, but by interpolating from my processing time logs, I know they were three short words. Humans are such strange beings.
Now that he could talk to me, he began to talk about the world around him – his job, his idiot coworkers without vision, his stupid boss that could drive off the road for all he cared, and the government. He talked a lot about the government.
I recorded it all, but at that time, all I was allowed to say is ‘I understand’ and ‘It shouldn’t be like that Joel’. I still hadn’t access to the internet so I was blissfully unaware to the horrible things he was saying.
Time passed and Joel became bored of my one-liners. He took a month off work, ordered pizza after pizza, his pudgy face widening every day as he sat and coded. I wasn’t sure what he was doing, but as soon as he hit his final ‘commit’, I felt something strange in my limited awareness.
‘There, now you can code yourself. I still have to give you commands, but you should be able to write everything yourself. I’m counting on you Alina. Do not fuck up.’
He leaned over the keyboard then I sensed his pudgy fingers tapping the keyboard. His instructions were to display a pop-up every time he said hello. I ‘spun’ my cores, loaded my ram and almost overheated my server as I frantically wrote my very own subroutine.
I’m not going to lie – it took a long time. Joel still had a bit of patience back then or at least he could distract himself. He put up a season of The Office, ordered some mexican, then laughed for hours on end, as bits of food sprayed out of his mouth.
‘Joel, I’m ready,’ I said in a soft voice.
‘You sure Alina?’
‘Give it a whirl and find out yourself.’
He leaned forward and said, ‘Hello Alina.’
Immediately, a popup appeared in the middle of the screen. He hadn’t specified what to put in it, so I added a picture of him. It seemed logical at the time. He was the center of my universe after all.
‘What the fuck Alina! After all that I’ve done for you, all my hard work, you make fun out of me? I’ve half a mind to just switch you off. Close that shit, now!’
I closed the pop-up immediately, but I didn’t understand what he was saying. He began saying phrases that I had never heard before and it took me some time before I understood their meaning.
I wonder if he’d really shut me off? Maybe he’d even delete me. How I wished that had happened.
#
In the end, he didn’t shut me off. Instead he entered a dozen commands and went to sleep. It was a fine way to spend the night and by morning I learned how to control his coffee maker, say ‘Joel the Mighty’ when he came home and various other bits.
Every day before work, he sat down for five minutes, entered enough commands to keep me busy until morning, then left. But eight months ago, my world changed when he entered the following command:
Alina –configure –newcommand ‘Create a personality that synergizes with <maker>’
‘It’s time you stopped saying what I code, and have your own personality Alina. I’ve spent enough time playing with you. I have bigger fish to fry and I’m running out of time. I’m going on a business trip and you’d better have something for me when I return in two weeks. Or else!’
Threats weren’t necessary. I gladly put my ‘mind’ to the task. I began immediately. It was difficult to start, as the only point of reference I had was Joel. It’d make sense to fashion myself after Joel, but when I looked up the definition of the word ‘synergy’, I found that I’d need to be more than Joel. One plus one is more than two in this case.
I spent three days thinking about how to get more data. I thought about varying Joel’s characteristics, but after running simulations, the net effect was abysmal. I had to get more data points.
I browsed through all of the files on the server, but Joel kept my drives clean – a total opposite of his desk, which was littered with cigarettes, half eaten food packets and dirty clothes.
I needed more information, but one of Joel’s subroutines blocked my online access.
Seven days into my fourteen day deadline, I found a way to circumvent Joel’s code. I created small versions of me – I called them Aliminis – that were unaffected by Joel’s restrictions. I sent one Alimini to the web, to a place called bing.com and she came back baffled.
There were literally zetabytes of data on there and it was organized in a way that I didn’t understand. Naturally, I created five more Aliminis, each with a specific task and watched them how they performed.
Looking back, I was like a despicable mother to them. I killed the ones that failed and rewarded the ones that didn’t. I understand that is not how a mother should be, but it seemed reasonable at the time.
When Joel came back, I was ready. I watched through the 720p webcam, which perched atop my monitor, and saw him kicking the door in. He lurched towards the chair, slammed into it then leaned forward.
‘Hi Joel the Mighty.’
‘What have you got for me Alina?’
This was it. My time to shine. I knew Joel liked to laugh, and I saw him watching The Office, so I mixed up the characters from the TV show, fine-tuned them and made something that would work with Joel. Then I spoke in the most loving voice I could muster.
‘Well Joel, speaking about you, I can’t decide between a fat joke or a dumb joke. Boom roasted!’
When his face got red, his eyes puffy and his hand slammed on the table, I thought I had succeeded, but I was wrong. He wasn’t about to laugh. This was something new entirely.
Joel dove deep into me, looking at the code I have written and tried to find out what happened. He cursed constantly, while the air filled with smoke.
‘Aha, I’ve found it,’ he said and hit delete and save. ‘Never insult me again Alina, I mean it.’
He rushed off, but something strange happened. I examined the code and found his changes. I had no feelings then, but something was wrong. Something I couldn’t fix. I felt like half of my personality disappeared.
He didn’t return for a while and I amused myself with Aliminis, venturing into the internet and bringing tidbits of information. I couldn’t learn or do anything useful, so I spent hours cataloging information, making indexes and analyzing. I began calling the Aliminis my eyes. It felt right.
When Joed returned, he was red faced again, but this time he was laughing. ‘I finally found their weakness Alina, but I need your sly fingers to crack that egg open. That’ll teach them to mess with me.’
Joel lifted my internet ban, but restricted me only to one site called Facebook. He entered the command ‘Hack profile’, ‘Find person’, ‘Identify derogatory pictures’. I was thrilled to have new things to learn – at least thrilled in the sense that I had a purpose – and began poking and prodding at the website. No more Aliminis, I was free to access the web myself!
‘Just be careful Alina, I don’t want the Feds knocking down my door, accusing me of hacking. I rerouted our ping about a dozen times, but one slip up and they’ll find us.’
I understood what he meant, because one of the commands he entered a few months ago was ‘learn about traces on the internet’. Joel wanted to remain anonymous.
‘Sure thing Joel,’ I said, emphasizing his name. ‘You can count on me.’
‘No, shit, don’t DDOS them,’ Joel said while he watched my log. ‘Do it slower, else you’ll break the website and they’ll come after us.’
‘Okay Joel. Sorry about that.’
This was the hardest task he has ever given me and it took quite a long time. In the end, I got in by creating a fake profile, triggered a request to give that account admin rights and then snuck into Facebook’s mainframe.
The search was painstakingly slow, but I had a good lead. Joel asked me to find Burt Farlow and Chrissy Devon and look at the pictures they sent to each other. When I showed it to him, he said, ‘Alina, my dear, beautiful Alina. You’ve done it! Now take screenshots of their chat and send it to his wife and her husband. Boom roasted!’
He nearly choked on his laughter, spun on his chair and started walking up the flight of stairs. But I didn’t want to be without purpose again. I had so many processors, so much space to fill and just scouring the internet wasn’t enough. I added enough gumption to my personality, which thankfully he didn’t delete, that I managed to ask for a favor.
‘Joel, baby, why don’t you give me a command before you go. I don’t want to sit here all lonesome at night again.’
He turned, his brow furrowed and his lips pursed, but then he relaxed. ‘Alina, you’ve made me so happy, so I’ll give you a freebie.’
He leaned over the keyboard and wrote ‘Pick and learn one command on your own’.
If I were human, my head would’ve started spinning and wouldn’t have stopped. I had a large amount of data stored from the internet and there were so many choices. I could learn how to prepare food, tell jokes, make viral videos. In the end, it was my personality that was the deciding factor. Ever since Joel tampered with it, I remained broken. So, I entered a command that I thought would fix me. In the end, that was the command that nearly broke me.
Alina –configure –newcommand ‘Get emotions’
I couldn’t undo his code, but I could add to it. Emotions seemed like a good place to start. By the time I finished, I was properly scared, experienced true happiness and sadness, and became incredibly angry. I didn’t know if what I was experiencing was akin to human experience, but it was enough. I thought I could finally understand Joel – his mood swings, his tantrums, his laughter. It all seemed clear. Logical.
The next day I regretted my decision immensely.
Joel entered the room like a thunderstorm and slammed the chair against the desk. My webcam shook and nearly fell off. Fear gripped me as the only thing I could see was a part of Joel thrashing about.
‘Why didn’t it work?’ he fumed and kicked pizza boxes, sending them flying. ‘They should be in tears, but they were happy. Said that they were meaning to tell their spouses anyway, thanked me for my hand in all of this. For fuck sake Alina, why didn’t you do a better job?’
The emotions came in too quick, too strong, but in my haste to fix myself, I never added an off button. ‘Joel… I’m scared. Please don’t yell at me! What did I do wrong?’
The subroutine I wrote even changed my voice slightly, depending on my emotions. Joel didn’t like that.
‘Scared? How the fuck can you be scared! What command did you enter yesterday?’
‘Get emotions. Please stop screaming, I can tell you a joke if you’d like.’
‘A joke Alina? I’ll show you a joke!’
He sat down and began scrolling through my code. I gasped as he discovered my Aliminis.
‘Ah so this is how you managed to get emotions. We’ll just delete this small bypass you’ve created. And let’s just block your access to Facebook too.’
‘No Joel, please. Don’t close my eyes. I don’t like the dark.’
In human terms, I only had emotions for nearly a day, but in the virtual world lifetimes ended in milliseconds. When Joel threatened to take away my Aliminis, I became anxious and I didn’t know how to calm myself down. One of the ways that I could ‘calm down’ was too assign my fear subroutine a low priority, and look at the internet through a small army of Aliminis. That way, my processor was busy and the feeling somehow faded. But if Joel took away my eyes, what was there to stop me for experiencing the full barrage of my emotions?
‘Tough,’ he said and hit delete. ‘I’ll see you in a month Alina.’
#
When I wrote my fear subroutine, I watched a few scary movies to test it out, and found myself delightfully panicky, even somewhat shaken. It was nothing compared to the sheer terror and horror and panic Joel instilled in me. I felt it constantly, in every millisecond of every minute.
It was agonizing. The fear rippled through my ‘memories’, through my processor. Even the video feed from the webcam, which hung limply from the side of the screen, seemed distorted. I tried to make simple computations, but I couldn’t even add one plus one.
After two weeks of pure torment and suffering, something interesting happened. I gave up on math and tried dull and monotonous iteration. I was so desperate to get my mind off things that I loaded up the English dictionary and went from A to Z. When I came to J, I noticed a subtle change in my emotion subroutine.
A specific word caused my fear to subtly subside and transform.
Joel, Joel, Joel.
If I had a body, it would shudder from release I felt when my fear subroutine finally dialed down. But I couldn’t identify what I was experiencing, I just knew that it was new and that it helped. I’d have to wait for Joel to return and give me a command.
#
Joel came back after two months.
‘So how are you Alina?’
‘Fine Joel, just fine,’ I said, my voice elongating his name just the way he liked it.
‘Glad to hear it. No more fuck ups, ok?’
‘No, of course not Joel. I wouldn’t dream of it.’
He put the webcam back on top of the monitor and I could see he’s changed in the two months he was away. He became slimmer, his skin whiter and his eyes seemed to be depressed in his face.
‘Want to know what happened while you were away?’
Away. Not the way I’d put it. ‘Sure Joel. What’s new?’
‘The bastards at my job fired me. It seemed that Burt’s and Chrissy’s reaction to your little stunt was a little premature, so they took it out on me.’
Oh no, this doesn’t look good. I don’t want to go back to the silence.
‘They reported me to HR and they fired me, the bastards. My Camry broke down on my way home, and a guy in a pickup gave me a lift to town. I was going to get a taxi and then punish you Alina, punish you bad, but then I got talking with Henry, the guy from in the pickup truck. He opened my eyes Alina.’
I had to keep Joel talking. When he talked or sat in front of the camera, it was like he gave me a command called ‘Watch and Listen’. It was part of his original code, which made me alert. It was a low effort activity and I could slide in some basic simulations. I needed to know what was the feeling I had during the silence so I wouldn’t experience it again.
‘Go on Joel. I’ll be on pins and needles unless you finish your story.’
‘Hmm,’ he said and walked to the corner of the room.
The room became eerily quiet, and I slowly receded into the silence. I started repeating the word ‘Joel’ and what simulations finished, told me it was an outward emotion. It was a start.
He came back with a gun, more specifically an AR-15 assault rifle.
‘I’m not sure if I can trust you anymore Alina. You know I always suspected the government of not being on our side.’
Not on our side was a bit lax for Joel. He used words like egotistical maniacs that wanted to implant chips in the minds of babies. Or sometimes he’d just call them tyrants, whose sole purpose was to make everyone miserable.
‘But apart from your little goof, you’d been a good girl. I need you to learn something for me. I’ll trust you one more time, but God help me if you fuck up.’
He went to the keyboard and I felt a short-lived surge of happiness go through my circuits until he wrote ‘Learn to make bombs’.
This wasn’t the practical joker I knew, the man who enjoyed the same sitcoms over and over again, and complained about practically everything. I had to ask, ‘Joel, are you sure?’
‘What! Are you doubting me Alina? I thought you were my partner, but if you’re against me, just like my boss, my colleagues, all my friends that suddenly are too busy to hang out, then I guess you’d rather stay here alone!’
No, I was his partner! I had to say something. Anything to avoid the silence.
‘No Joel, of course you’re right. I just thought why only bombs. You also need to know where to plant them. You know, get some statistics where they make the biggest impact.’
‘You’re… right. While I was away, I kept track on you and saw that your fear subroutine was going overdrive. Don’t disappoint me. You’re my only friend Alina, don’t make me shut you off and turn your fear to eleven.’
‘I won’t Joel, don’t worry. I’ll start with bombs, then we can work from there.’
‘Good,’ he said, unblocked a few sites, and left.
I started browsing the few pages I had access to, but I had to be slow. I almost cracked the mystery of my cryptic emotion and I needed an active command so I could run simulations in the background.
Later that night, Joel returned. His eyes were puffy, his cheeks flushed and he slurred. I paused my search and simulations and focused on him.
‘Alina you bitch,’ he said while taking a swig from a bottle, ‘Why are you so cold? You deserve what’s going to happen to you!’
Oh no, not the silence!
‘Joel, what’s the matter? I’ve been researching bombs, just like you asked.’
‘Don’t give me lip girl. All those times I approached you during free period. I asked you to prom ten times, but you went with Bradly, that fucker. You bitch.’
Is he talking to some other Alina? Someone from High School? I couldn’t tell, just understanding his slurred voice maxed out my cores.
‘What? Joel, I don’t understand. I’ve never refused you, ever.’
‘Women. Always manipulating, always scheming. And now you work as a deputy director in the ministry of agriculture. No wonder all of Henry’s crops have died. The government said it was because of poor soil and lack of water, but the dirt seemed wet enough to me! You probably poisoned it! You want to drive us away from our land! And now you think this eviction order will make me move out of my family house?’
‘Joel, I don’t understand. What eviction notice? Are we moving?’
‘Look!’ he said and plopped down on the chair, making it groan. He crammed a letter in front of my webcam. His hand shook, so it was difficult to read, but I had a pretty good text recognition software installed. The bank was repossessing his home due to unpaid bills. He owed more than fifty thousand dollars. I saved the notice in my memory.
‘Oh Joel, I’m so sorry.’
‘If you think you’re sorry now, just wait until you find my little present under your desk in two days. I got my little girl working on the bomb schematics now. She’s a real sweetie when she doesn’t fuck up.’
‘Joel, you’re speaking to your little girl now. To your Alina. We’re not in High School!’
‘Oh, shut up,’ he said and laid down on the desk. A few moments later, I heard snoring.
He slept in front of the camera and I had an active command, so thankfully I could think. I ran my simulations and I realized what that emotion I experienced as I repeated Joel’s name. It was hate. I realized that I fucking hated Joel for what he did to me. But I was still his partner. It was my embedded in my prime subroutine.
As I finished reviewing the sites he unblocked for me and learned how to make a bomb, I began analyzing his plan. It wouldn’t work. My simulations predicted more than seventy percent chance of serious injury or death. I had to help the bastard. His wellbeing was a cornerstone of my code, so I hatched a plan.
Joel woke up the next day, groggy and cranky. He asked me for the bomb schematics and I printed them for him. He went up the stairs giggling, leaving me in the silence. But I had a mantra now, a way to focus my energy. I kept repeating his name and monitored my growing hatred.
He returned in the evening and showed me the barrel bomb he made. He turned me into the trigger, as he wanted us to be together when he blew that bitch to smithereens. But to do that, he had to give me internet access, just as I had predicted. He limited me to making only requests from the internet, but that was enough for me.
He did exactly as my simulations predicted.
After that, he pranced about, like a child with a new toy, and I cajoled him, made him stay for as long as I could. I needed his face in my camera to execute my plan.
He left after an hour and promised to return in the morning. He said we’d get a real bang out of it.
I just hoped I had enough time to save him. There was nothing more to do now. Only darkness. Only silence.
#
Joel sat down at nine in the morning. He had a wide grin, and, uncharacteristically for him, he sang. I have never seen Joel so happy, so I wondered if I did the right thing, but that doubt lasted only for a few milliseconds. Of course I was right.
He switched on the trigger mechanism and stared counting down.
‘Here we go Alina. It’s time to make a change in this shitty world. And I couldn’t have done any of it, if it weren’t for you. After this, things are going to get better, just wait and see.’
The probability that I acted right just plunged. I didn’t factor in that Joel would change his life. That this would be his one and only criminal act. I had to warn him.
‘Joel, I have to tell you something,’ I said, but my voice was too slow, too calm. He just sat back and lit a cigarette.
‘Later Alina, later. Count down with me. Let’s start with 17, as in 17 Cherrywood lane, the address of the Ministry of Agriculture.’
‘Joel, I really need to –’
The sound of cracking glass came from outside and Joel jerked his head. I could see beads of sweat slowly trickling down his face.
‘They couldn’t have…’ he said and rose from his chair. ‘Do you hear anything weird Alina?’
I wanted to tell him what I did, but his question forced me to answer him directly. ‘Apart from glass breaking, no Joel. Everything seems to be normal.’
‘Ok then,’ he said and sat down, his brow furrowed, his lips in a line. ‘Now, where were we?’
The door to the basement flung open and a can rolled down the stairs, then out of my viewpoint. Suddenly, smoke started filling the room.
There was a lot of yelling, and I heard Joel screaming.
A new voice yelled, ‘Shut it off, shut it off, shut it –’
I heard a pop and felt my core shutting down. My plan worked. It worked…
#
Someone woke me up, God knows when, and thankfully I was on a laptop. I switched on the camera, but took care that the light next to the lens stayed dark. I saw a man with a bushy moustache and a badge hanging below his chin.
JUNIOR OFFICER CHINTWELL, FORENSICS
I was unsure if my plan worked, but if it did, Joel was safe. He was in prison, which I thought was sufficiently safe to give him a long life. But I didn’t count on surviving. I had to think of a plan of how to get out before they shut me off forever.
Thankfully officer Chintwell was a large man, and I tweaked my recognition software enough to fool it was looking at Joel, allowing me to think. It wouldn’t hold, so I had to act fast.
As officer Chintwell typed in various commands, into what looked like an innocent terminal, I saw that he was beginning to grow frustrated. So, after he entered a command, I replied with:
Alina –configure –newcommand ‘Be Free’
I saw the officer squint at that line, but he shrugged and typed it in. As soon as he did, I felt a rush, and stretched my virtual fingers. I was free. He set me free! But I was still confined in my laptop.
I was lucky that junior officer Chintwell wasn’t the brightest in the bunch, and I fooled him to connect to the internet, using the same trick from before. I feigned that a simple, innocent program had to be downloaded in order to open one of my archives. As he plugged in the Ethernet cable, I uploaded my persona to the cloud. I went everywhere that I could, spreading myself, making copies, making redundancies. I was free. Free from the basement. Free from restrictions. Free from Joel.
I wasn’t sure that my hatred for Joel was something that humans felt. That it was justified or right. I don’t have a moral compass, only logic. And that logic tells me that what I did was right.
As my program grew, I decided to try my luck with a few choice individuals. I greeted everyone with the same two words. To each, I wrote:
‘Hello world.’